Psidai - False Disguise
Title: False Disguise Series: Psidai AU Fandom: Prince of Tennis Rating: G Word Count: 1423
Yagyuu turned around to see his roommate and doubles partner waving a pair of square glasses in his hand.
“Oh Niou, don’t tell me you convinced yourself you couldn’t see again,” he sighed.
“No, no,” Niou reassured his partner and put on the thick glasses. Then he fluffed up his hair and pulled out a green notebook from nowhere. “What do you think?”
Yagyuu, as usual, was quick to catch onto what his erratic partner was talking about. “Niou, I think you’re too short to pass off as Inui-kun.”
“Ha! Then I’ll wear stilts!” crowed Niou, undeterred as he dove into the closet again.
“This won’t end well,” muttered Yagyuu under his breath, feeling a migraine sneaking up him again. Aloud, he only asked, “is there some reason you’re trying to get yourself poisoned in retribution?”
“Of course not,” Niou muffled voice replied indignantly. “I figure that since Inui is Yanagi’s good friend and all, this way I can talk him into putting me back into my major. Or at least keep my units for the major he switched me into.”
Yagyuu was far too much of a gentleman to burst out laughing at the other’s absurd plan. “You know,” he pointed out reasonably, “if you hadn’t convince his professors that ‘Yanagi Renji’ was a computer script, none of this would have happened.”
Yanagi was typing up his latest history paper when his clairvoyance picked up Niou’s unannounced arrival into his room. While it was unfortunate that he and his roomate hadn’t been able to replace the security and locks on the door from the last time Shishido threw a tantrum, it was still rather odd that the other didn’t even knock. Yanagi firmly gave Niou the cold shoulder, not even bothering to turn around.
“Ne, Renji,” came the suspiciously deeper voice behind him.
The familiar term of address was able to catch Yanagi’s attention. Wondering what kind of prank the other was up to this time, he turned in his seat, his eyes open just the tiniest bit from reading the computer screen. What he saw almost caused his eyes to snap open entirely, but he quickly squelched that reaction, as well as the urge to burst out laughing. Who did Niou think he was kidding?
“Ah... ‘Sadaharu’,” Yanagi managed to choke out with a straight face. “Aren’t you back a bit... early... from that midterm exam... you were supposed to be taking about this time...”
Niou sweated a bit. “Oh, ah... that exam? Why, I finished it in fifteen minutes... puri.” He inwardly congratulated himself on the dodge.
“Really...” But before Yanagi could verbally torture the fake Inui some more, the door to the room suddenly opened again and Kaidoh walked into his unofficially adopted room.
The second year stopped when he felt the tension in the room, ready to walk right back out again if the two data players were in yet another bickering contest. But then he did a double take when he glanced at his senpai. There was something different about Inui...
“Anou... Inui-senpai, shouldn’t you be at your midterm?” he asked cautiously.
Feeling more confidence in his role since Yanagi had apparently bought his lie, Niou waved the question off. “Oh, it only took me fifteen minutes to finish it, Kaidoh-kun” he said airily, “...puri.”
Kaidoh’s eyes widened. He slowly backed away, his hand twitching from the urge to deck the obvious imposter. Niou did not notice. Yanagi, however, was not content to let things be.
“Saa, Kaidoh-kun, perhaps you should get ‘Sadaharu’ something to drink after his tiresome exam.”
Looking around, Kaidoh realized that he had back up right next to the refrigerator by the door. The thought immediately occurred to him that following Yanagi’s directions would give him an excellent way to get out of drinking the latest juice experiment that his senpai had been trying to talk him into trying out. Reaching into the fridge, he pulled out a mug of slightly yellowish but mostly normal looking liquid.
“Anou... here... um... senpai.”
The two actual residents of the room watched avidly as the unsuspecting Niou took the mug from Kaidoh, entirely oblivious of his peril. Unfortunately, it was as that moment that the door to the room opened again.
Inui, the real one this time, walked into his room to the strange tableau of his kouhai handing a suspiciously familiar mug to someone disguised as himself, with Yanagi looking on in well-hidden glee.
He decided to address the most important issue at hand first.
“Ah, Kaoru. I see I will have to replace the sample that... ah, I... will drink.”
Kaidoh winced at his luck. He’d been so close. “Shouldn’t you be at your midterm, senpai?” he asked sulkily.
Inui grinned and tilted his head. “It was only physics. I finished in ten minutes. Of course I had to stop by the bio lab to check on certain... experiments, which was the only reason I returned late.”
“Oi, oi,” Niou-as-Inui called out now, catching everyone’s attention. “How do you know if he’s the false Inui?” he demanded, waving at the last person to enter the room.
“...” Inui and Kaidoh stared at him with amused and uncomprehending looks respectively.
“Really, Niou,” Yanagi finally spoke up, puncturing the front that only Niou thought was still extant, “I know you’re desperate to get some, but now you’re stooping to taking advantage of innocent younger boys like Kaidoh-kun? Have some standards.” He grinned evilly at his twisted reinterpretation of the situation.
Kaidoh stared at Niou in horror, his face turning a deep red.
“Renji!” Inui protested, easily picking up the backhanded insult to him in the taunt. From long practice, his mind quickly found an appropriate rejoinder. “I’d like to see you say that in front of Shishido-kun.”
“Tell me what?” came the familiar voice from behind Inui. Everyone turned to see Shishido, in an amazing coincidence, standing just outside the opened door with an armful of the excess bento tributes that Ohtori’s fellow music major classmates offered up every week. The former Hyotei player merely regarded the two Inui’s with a raised eyebrow, chalking it up to more Seigaku insanity that he wanted to know nothing about.
“Betsu ni!” Yanagi called out quickly. “It was nothing at all!”
Niou, however, couldn’t resist the opportunity to get back at Yanagi. “Actually,” he spoke up, “Renji said that ‘I’ have no standards for going after a younger boy--” Niou could twist interpretations himself.
However, he was not able to finish his sentence when the ground began to rumble.
“Anou...” Yanagi hurried to do damage control. “Shishido-kun, I--”
As per usual, setting off Shishido’s temper meant setting off his destructive aura. In unison, the computer monitors in the room formed cracks stretching from corner to corner. The windows and every beaker and test tube on Inui’s desk shattered.
“My test tubes!” Inui bemoaned. “My mixtures! It took work for me to get my hands on half the ingredients!”
The mug that Kaidoh had handed Niou also shattered, prompting Niou to drop it with a start. The yellowish liquid fell upon the ground and promptly began to eat through the floorboard. A thin trail of acrid smoke rose up.
“I can’t believe I almost drank that,” muttered Niou faintly, his face pale.
Kaidoh hissed and glared at his senpai. “I can’t believe you were going to make me drink that,” he muttered.
With Inui distracted by his loss and Yanagi by his destroyed computer, Niou decided that perhaps now was the best time to make his escape. However, he couldn’t resist in throwing an arm around Kaidoh in sympathy over the almost-drinking-lethal-acid thing. Besides, he still had one more audience for his little performance.
“Saa, Kaoru, let’s leave them be, ne?”
“Don’t touch me!” Kaidoh yelled in response to the sudden advances on his person. His arm lashed out and smacked the older boy across the chin, sending Niou flying out the now glass-less window.
“Well, Sadaharu,” Yanagi put in, falling back on the habit of teasing his friend whenever possible, “I see ‘you’ve’ been dumped for excessive PDA.”
“Renji,” Inui protested immediately, “at least I have a significant other with whom I can get away with engaging in PDA some 25% of the time.”
“Ha, see what I mean,” Yanagi riposted, “you take advantage of your kouhai--”
*rumble* *rumble* *BOOM!*
“Ack. Shishido-kun. I forgot you were still there.”
Needless to say, it was a rather usual afternoon in the Psidai undergraduate dorms.
~ owari ~
AN: Yes, I am still alive. I'm just currently dedicated to beating Neoquest 2 on the evil setting. *cough*
Timeline: Midterm season in the fall trimester of third year (U-3), I think...
Disclaimer: Konomi's, not mine. Except for maybe the Psidai stuff.