|tanithryudo (tanithryudo) wrote,|
@ 2006-10-18 22:41:00
|Entry tags:||china, mythology, reviews|
《封神演义》 发花痴-ing (pt. 3)
I knew I was forgetting something. This is the last part. Previous two posts: 1 2
So we're finally at the last group of defenders before we reach the enemy capital...
And just to establish their credentials we'll have them be the first group to successfully pull off a midnight sneak attack.
Man, what's with these freaks we never heard of popping up right after we beat the big boys?
Probably cuz we need to make the 40 ep limit and they're in the canon.
Well, according to my divination attempts, it looks like we need to send in a sacrifice so that we can go ask for reinforcements again.
Wait, this wasn't in the original canon... and how does poisoning my 3rd eye make my other two normal eyes go blind?!
Shp. We need the HC factor for the fangirls.
So... you want me to go play blind tag or something?
Well, we need you to go talk to your master cuz he hasn't gotten any screen time yet.
What, you're not even giving me my
seeing-eye dog to go with? Cheapskate.
Fine, I'll just turn into a seeing-eye dog and... somehow run all the way across country in a matter of days. Yeah...
I am in the right place, right?
Yeah that sounds about right.
I give you, spiritual Clear-Eye (TM)
Well this non-canonical sub-arc ended painlessly.
Thanks for the help, now about getting some information...
See, this is what happens when your Fearless Leader slacks off in divination class
But, since the script requires it, I'll tell you all you need to know to beat the bad guys.
And this explanation requires us to talk over the latrine or something?
No, we just need the white noise to muffle the wiretaps.
Let's hope they don't lipread too.
I'm back. I got the info. Let's go.
So don't mind me while I temporarily take over and start giving orders.
Don't worry, your explanation is on this wiretap-proof parchment... yeah.
Mind telling me what the big plan is now?
Nah. You'll find out when we get back.
Well, it worked. We got rid of the two eavesdroppers.
Unfortunately the bad news is their reinforcements just got here.
And of course the obligatory combat scene.
Anyone who believes he was inconvenienced by this, go back home and rewatch your JttW.
Behold the bad photomanip level CGI...
Was anyone surprised? *crickets chirp*
More heat vision
And a Monty Python moment... =_=
Meanwhile, back at the camp...
While I'm glad you didn't already put the rest of my body on a funeral pyre or something, but couldn't you have at least laid me on something clean?
Well, the good news is they're all animal-based. Bad news is we need to get EQ.
Right... you kids go get the magic mirror. We only need Yang Jian to defend the camp anyhow.
I demand a raise after this...
Magic mirror + heat vision
Two more down.
Down to the last 2 fugitives.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall...
I think we got the last of them.
And now we are finally at the enemy capital. The only 妖 left are the two seductresses passing themselves off as concubines.
A slight different kind of "chasing girls"
Of course the grand mistress who started it all makes the obligatory end appearance.
And surprisingly enough, Nüwa helps them capture the 妖 duo... (unlike in other stories *coughJttWcough*)
See, it's not that I'm as immune to female wiles as lotus-boy next to me. It's more like a must-have survival skill against all my fangirls...
And the rest is irrelevant since we all know the good guys won in the end and established the Zhou dynasty, yadda yadda yadda...