CBR Revenge Fic
I wrote this snippet last night to blow off some steam after dealing with a particularly annoying fanboy on the Rumbles board yesterday. The idiot was making some rather ridiculous comments on a LOTR characters vs. Conan thread, including statements such as Conan can resist ANY magics thrown his way via sheer willpower (after which Munchy asked 'how do you resist a magic hand grenade by sheer will?') and the claim which started this particular revenge-fic: "No swordsman can stand versus the Cimmerian."
Needless to say, the urge to start a match with Conan vs. Lina Inverse or Kenshin was quite strong. But to save the board the agravation and the display of pettiness, I think I'll keep my little piece of vengeance on my journal.
CBR Revenge fic #1: The Swordsman vs the Cimmerian
Hiko Seijuro sauntered through the thick Hyperborean jungle, confidently waiting for the foe he had been assigned to fight to show up. He supposed he could easily go and bring the fight to the barbarian trying to sneak up behind him - he could sense the man's untamed ki - but he felt that it would be beneath the dignity of the master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu to do so. Therefore, he waited and enjoyed the scenery.
He sensed the exact moment when the barbarian ran forward and lept toward him. The attack was swift by normal human terms, but to the godspeed of the Hiten-master? Well, it was scandalously plodding. Why, even his baka deshi could have done better after his second month of instruction! And was that intended to be some kind of Ryu-tsui-sen? Feh. Even monkeys had more grace.
All of these thoughts ran through Hiko's mind as he stood calmly among the trees, seemingly unaware of or unconcerned about the attack from behind. He waited until the man had reached the top of his parabolic curve and had started downwards. A small smirk crossed Hiko's lips as he reached for his katanna.
It was definitely overkill, but it was also his favorite move. And if he was going to be dragged to this strange world for some Kami-mandated duel, he might as well make the best of it. Gracefully, Hiko landed on the ground without a sound. The wind barely ruffled his gorgeous hair and fluttering cloak in the silence that ensued.
Stepping out of his landing pose, Hiko turned to regard the results of his counterattack. From the mangled pile of blood and gore, it was clear that the barbarian was quite dead. Hiko looked down at his unsheathed katanna. Not a drop of blood stained the blade, so fast it had moved and cut.
With a swirl of his cape, Hiko sheathed the blade and walked toward where the Khazan portal back to his own world should be. This Conan fellow had not been anywhere near a challenge to satisfy him, but one isn't always faced with worthy opponents. Ah well, there was always next time.
Hiko: That was a waste of time.
Me: Wagh! Hiko-sama! Does this mean my muses are coming back?
Saito: If you need to have someone rended to pieces, why didn't you call me?
Me: Er... 'cause you're scary? Actually, 'cause Hiko's the bestest swordsman in the Kenshinverse, and he looks so cool doing it!
Hiko: Aa. *smirk*
Kenshin: You shouldn't encourage shisho, Tanith-dono. He has a big enough ego already.
Hiko: Baka deshi!
Kenshin: Oro... *tries to slip away*
Saito: Feh, you just wanted to have that muscle-bound barbarian chopped up by a pretty-boy bishounen.
Hiko: *glares* *tic*
Kenshin: Oro! *runs away*
Me: Eh-heheh... *sweatdrop* um... that too? *runs*