Next 25

Mar. 30th, 2006

PoT in 30 seconds

Reposted b/c cashew told me to. Plus a couple of edits cuz my fingers always type 10x faster than my brain.

Title (I guess this sort of counts as a fic?): PoT in 30 seconds
Author: Me
(Pretend I filled in all the other info fields here)
(Pretend I stuck the disclaimer here)

Sakuno: ano--

Echizen (interrupts): Mada mada dane

Tezuka: ...

Tachibana: *stares moodily at Tezuka*

Taka: Mars Fireball Make-up!

Mizuki: *wiggles fingers* Nfufufufu

Fuji: *opens eyes and fires lazer beams*

Atobe: *mauls Tezuka while Hyotei headdesks in background*

GP: Let's invite Momo to our orgy!

Kentaro: *spazz*

Kaidoh: Fssshhh... (translation: I thought I was supposed to play him?)

Jousei Shounen: *is ignored*

Sanada: Why do I have to play Tezuka's replacement?

Echizen: Oi! My show! *beats*

Inui: *shing!* Not according to the data I have on our audience demographic.

Kevin: Echizen! I will-- *is pounced*

Karupin: Mraoww

Fans: *scream incoherently*

The End

Mar. 21st, 2006


From an EG pseudo-fic on the bbs:

不过,这个名字起的就不是太好。 因为从五行上来看:





...Note that 白玉堂 died infiltrating 冲霄楼. I have to wonder if his name was chosen for exactly the above purpose. But probably not since his earliest literary incarnation as a mouse-spirit probably didn't include 冲霄楼.
Tags: ,

True story...

One of those water cooler stories... or in this case told by our Solaris instructor from Sun Microsystems during break time...

So he was contracted in to this global insurance company... Zurich or something unpronouncable like that. And on the day he got to the place (a Canada branch office or something), there was like 50 taxi's parked out back.

As it turns out, it was a day for layoffs... and people who were laid off were first escorted by security to their desk to have their passwords and stuff reset, and then out back into a taxi where they're sent off home. Of course they're free to get out a few blocks away and walk back to get their car which they parked at the company when coming to work...

All this so as to disclaim from any possible liability, insurance-wise, on their last day.


Tags: ,

Feb. 23rd, 2006

another chinese bbs repost

金庸小說翻成英文後 )
Tags: ,

Feb. 19th, 2006

Ripped from a bbs

It was reposted there from some other place anyhow, so there shouldn't be any info ownership issues...

BL漫画普遍规律150条 )
Tags: ,

Feb. 10th, 2006

haha, this is cute...



Chinese puns are cool. Here's some more of 'em...
Tags: ,

Nov. 20th, 2005

Tang texts

Been reading primary texts from Ancient China (about the Tang dynasty, though written later in Late Tang or Song). Man, it didn't pay to be in the government back then...

Wei Zheng: I suggest you kill your younger brother, like, now

Li Jianchen (the Heir): *wibbles* Um...

Li Shimin: OMG die! Emperor-ship, here I come!

Li Jianchen & Yuanji: *dies*

Wei Zheng: *in jail* I told 'em so. But do they listen? Noooo...

Li Shimin: *now Emperor Taizong* I like you. Wanna be in my inner-council-cabinet-of-advisors clique?

Wei Zheng: You suck.

Li Shimin: Right. You get to be my grand-vizier-type-dude.

Wei Zheng: ...

Fang Xuanling: Um, I'd like to retire.

Tang Taizong: No.

Fang Xuanling: But I'm over 50. I'm old! Why don't I get to retire?

Tang Taizong: Are you senile? Gone stupid in your old age?

Fang Xuanling: ...I would like to say yes but my scholarly pride prevents me. Dammit.

Tang Taizong: Then no. Back to work with you!

Fang Xuanling: I'm starting to regret proposing that downsizing early in your reign.

Tang Taizong: Oh and here's some nice nick-nacks and more money for your long and loyal service and all that.

Fang Xuanling: ...

Wei Zheng: *hacks up a lung* Give it up, man. He's never letting us out of his clutches the cages court.

Tang Taizong: Oh, Wei Zheng, there you are. Here's some more jobs and responsibilities and all that.

Wei Zheng: ...

Tang Taizong: You get a promotion to go with it?

Wei Zheng: There's gotta be a way to get this disease to kill me. *hackcough*

Right, totally should get back to work now.

Dec. 18th, 2004

It's late/early and I'm highly amused

More anecdotes from my lecture notes...

cut for spacing )

I'm being amused by the oddest things...
Tags: ,

Dec. 17th, 2004

Insane EECS people

So one of our homework assignments for cs162 was to sign up for a day to take lecture notes, which are then posted on the class website (and graded too). Naturally, some people take better notes than others.

Some people also take notes by taping the lecture and doing a verbatim transcription.

The latter are more useful when studying for exams, though, so we like these overly/obssessively complete neat-freaks. But it also means that in the middle of some stuff on Network Protocols, we get stuff like this:

cut for spacing )

Now that I think about it, I was actually there for that particular lecture.

Be amused, dammit. :p
Tags: ,

Sep. 23rd, 2004

Anime Lists

Grabbed these from some posts over on the Rumbles board.

The Laws of Anime

All I Ever Learned, I Learned From Anime

If I Ever Become an Anime Character

...Anime Villain

...Anime Magical Girl

Snippet from the villains list:

I will remember: The plot is not on my side. There's no way that I can win, so I might as well have fun.

Whips are fun.

Chains are fun.

But they should be used sparingly unless I want to appear in yaoi fics for the rest of my born days.


Apr. 29th, 2004

Funny & Educational Cartoons about China

( click here )

Humorous and entertaining tibits of Chinese history and inventions. Loved the bit on time pieces and the importance of precise timing to ancient Chinese astronomy/astrology...


But also... he [the court astrologer] was supposed to know the horoscope of all the royal offspring at the exact moment of conception. Customarily, an astrologer perched on the roof during the emperor's connubial encounters.

Astrologer: *shouting from rooftop* NOW is aspicious, Majesty, NOW!!

Heheh. So very amusing. ^_^
Tags: ,

Apr. 24th, 2004

Science vs. Religion...

...Action figure style! Heh. This is soooo funny.

( click here )

Apr. 12th, 2004


I was just browsing the TrekBBS TOS board for information on when Paramount's gonna turn out a DVD box set when I came across this hilarious post.

Guartho wrote in reply to the thread titled "What exactly was wrong with TOS uniforms?":

It all boils down to Gene Roddenberry's vision of sexually liberated humans. It's the most efficient uniform for random sexual encounters. The women's skirts were short with nice low necklines and the men's pants tight, shirts tear-away. Starfleet uniforms have no belts allowing perfect, awkward-free and smooth pant removal.

The famous and puzzling lack of pockets came about in the 2230's when Starfleet crews became tired of the pick-up line "Is that a universal translator in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" From then on "Nice shoes, wanna @#%%," has been more than sufficient and catapulted the fledgling Federation leather boot industry into the position of the Fed's biggest domestic industry.

However, even in the sextacular funworld of the 23rd century, sexual relationships within your own department can be bad for morale. Therefore everyone wears bright colors to denote department, allowing a moment's notice to tell if that hunk o' ensign or sweet dish o' lieutenant is off-limits or not. Each ship has its own insignia for similar reasons. When two crews encounter one another, crew members can tell easily if their interest is from the other ship and totally fair game, regardless of department.

Interestingly enough, even though he was Cassanova on-screen, our beloved Captain's position of ultimate authority prevented him from 'interacting' with anyone on board. This lead to his incredible sex-drive whenever he set eyes on a woman outside of his crew.

The rank stripes have nothing to do with sex. C'mon... you gotta fly the ship sometime!

*laughs self silly* Owie. ^_~

Mar. 19th, 2004

More RK cards, and some funny "Mew" cards

Okay, I went on a card-making spree last night and got a lot of Kenshin cards done. Since it'd be pain to upload them onto GJ and then link them one by one, I made a webpage instead. Here it is.

I still need some flavor text for those, either narration or dialogue. And also, I still have the rest of the Juppon Gatana, which I need to find good pictures for, as well as Okina and the minor Oniwabanshu peeps.

Some quotes that DK suggested )

Meanwhile, over at Rumbles, it seems that Munchy has been busy making joke cards based on stuff pulled out from the bowels of Soap Operus. I think he's rediscovered many of [info]cashew's works of art, and has made some... interesting cards. They're all very funny. I'll link 'em here:

Slayven Kitty
Slayven Kitty 2
Ball collector
Munchy Poodle
Watcher w/ Mallet
Pell Torture

Heh. Heheheh...

Update: More Mewie-inspired cards.

Disgruntled Mods
Tags: , ,

Feb. 20th, 2004

Summaries that suck

I was skimming through ffnet, and having the typical problem of finding anything decent among the sludge of badfics out there. Then I figured, what the heck, even the badfics are something to write about. Of course, it's not like I want to subject myself to bad writing, so I'll just comment on the only bits of those fics I did read - the summaries.

cut tagged for length )

Do you suppose this also belongs in editing_room, [info]cashew?

Feb. 12th, 2004

Neat song

Oi, [info]cashew! You *gotta* see this!
Tags: ,

Feb. 4th, 2004

Taken from Koba's LJ and inspired by cashew's rants:

Introducing: The Fic-authors Inferno! See where fanfics rank in the Fanfiction Circles of Hell! (IMO, of course.)

Typos, Blandness, Ignorance of Topic
Circle I Limbo

Misspellings, Bad Grammar
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Bad Xovers, Bad Parodies, Bad PWP
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Author Bias
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Non-Canonicity, Impossible Biological Acts
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Unexplained Plot Devices, Plot Holes
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Self Inserts, Sue-ish OC's, OOC Characterization
Circle VII Burning Sands

Mary Sues
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

L33t Use/Illegibility
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Dont'cha just love it that the Mary Sues are "immersed in excrement"? Much more fitting fate then being frozen in ice one circle down. *eg*

And regarding where I put "Biologically Impossible Acts"... don't hit me, [info]cashew... my response to blatant non-canon fics of my favorite fandoms is just about the same as yours is to impossible biology... except I'm not as loud, o'course. :p
Tags: ,

Jan. 23rd, 2004


First of all, lemme note that I added something I forgot to the entry about today's lunch (it's under friends-lock, so the rest of ya can just pretend you didn't see this :p). Advice would be appreciated there.

Anyways, I heard something rather funny/interesting on Wed. night from my dad. He was talking to my uncle about the stuff he heard while he was in China.

So the story goes like this: )
Tags: ,

Jan. 21st, 2004

Happy Chinese New Year Morning!

Y'know... I don't know why I bother to get here so early in the morning when it seems like most of the people I need to talk to aren't here yet. Hrm. Well, I guess it gives me a little time to goof off a little (yes, I know, Bad! Tani! Bad! :p) and catch up on stuff like GJ and CBR. (Speaking of CBR, I still need to finish those two scenes.)

On happier news, my cold seems to be going away. No sore throat this morning, and I can breathe again. Still, I guess that teaches me to be more careful with dressing warm. Also, I get to leave early today (well, okay, it's not the company that's letting me leave early, it's my dad telling me to leave early)... and I have to pick up a roast duck on my way home from Ranch 99 (or was that Lion's supermarket? I forget)... driving home ought to be interesting...

The weather today is simply *delightful*. There was actually sun out this morning instead of the perpetual fog/gloom/mist... well, okay, it wasn't all that ideal for driving when the sun's coming right at you... but the weather is very nice. The radio meteorologists say the good weather may last to the weekend, which is good news.

Also, heard a rather interesting joke on the radio earlier. Apparently they're selling a really popular bumper sticker in NY saying "Run, Hillary, Run!" The punchline is that the Democrats put them on the back of their bumpers and the Republicans put them on the front. It actually took me a while to get that. *sheepish*
Tags: ,

Jan. 16th, 2004

Inspired by stupidity

So traffic was horrible tonight, right? It took me over half an hour to get through just the highway portion of my drive at an average speed of about 15 mph the whole way through. So I've been stuck in traffic with nothing much to do except actually pay attention to the radio, 'cause there's nothing else to do. And y'know what? There's some funny stories mixed in with the normal radio news...

This morning - Some idiots decided to streak through a 7-11. Unfortunately, they left their car running in the parking lot, and some opportunistic thief drove away with their car... and their clothes. Not quite Darwin Awards. But still stupidly funny (though I suppose not for people like [info]ossian who runs stores like that, I guess - aren'tcha glad you don't live in crazy California? :p)

This afternoon - Somehow a car wound up blocking the traffic on highway 84 (80? 680?). Apparently the car was sitting on top of a mattress, and wasn't going anywhere soon. I'd like to hear the explanation of how it (the car AND the mattress) got there in the first place.

On the news - A lot of yakking on the news today about the whole Michael Jackson's court appearance today. I dunno anything about the guy, but his actions at the trial (arriving late, posing for the fans like it was a con) struck me as totally irresponsible and, well, arrogantly stupid. Let's just leave it at that.
Tags: ,

Next 25